Though I am in the middle of my second Netflix three-pack review, I am taking a few minutes to address the altercation that took place at the Woods’ residence early last Friday morning. This blog is about sex and the media. This week, Tigers Woods’ sexual practices became front page news.
Woods has asked for privacy. Obviously, there is little chance of that happening. However, we should keep in mind that his “crime” was a private one. He owes an explanation only to his wife. He did not promise the world he would not commit adultery. If his actions fall outside of the couple’s martial contract, it is wife’s business, no one else’s.
I assume he had promised her monogamy only because of her reaction to the news that he hadn’t delivered it. As I understand what happened: his wife attacked him with a golf club after discovering his affair. Part of me is surprised she reacted so violently. When a model marries the world’s biggest athlete, I tend to think it’s a business deal. Frankly, I’m a little disappointed in her as a Swede—those Northern Europeans are supposed to be free loving swingers.
I guess even the rich feel humiliation. Being a trophy wife is a two way street. Just as he needs an attractive blonde on his arm to help him sell razor blades, she is supposed to be hot enough to keep the attention of a man who has seemingly (but not actually) infinite romantic options.
That is the lesson I take from this event. Why did Woods slept with someone who wasn’t his wife? Because he wanted to. More scientifically, I believe it is the law of diminishing marginal utility. While there is a brief up tick in sexual satisfaction as one gets to know his partner, it soon slops downward. Woods cheated because he couldn’t, or didn’t want to, resist the excitement of someone new, someone different.
This event should also serve as a reminder that infidelity, suspected and/or confirmed, does not justify violence. The police should investigate the incident regardless of the parties’ cooperation. Assault and battery is a public crime.
I don’t want to totally absolve Woods. Lying to one’s sexual partner is both jerky, and is dangerous to her health. Also, Woods has not stood up for himself. He has not defended the right of consenting adults to engage in whatever sexual practices they choose. He has asked for forgiveness rather than asking if what he did was really wrong. I understand his decision. The media might forgive him for cheating on his wife, but it would never forgive him for challenging traditional sexual norms.
The final lesson: you can be a world champion athlete and still sleep with cocktail waitresses. That’s the lesson because those are the facts. Martin Luther King, Jr. had extramarital affairs. So did Albert Einstein. It doesn’t detract from their accomplishments. Monogamy is simple a political message because of all the times the facts have to be shaped to fit its message.
In that sense, I welcome Tiger Woods back to our side. This is the side that points out the limitation of marriage as an institution. It is also the side that insists love is a net benefit to society only when unaccompanied by jealousy. Otherwise it’s just a punch line waiting to happen. Right now, there are plenty of Tiger Woods’ jokes out there.
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